Roberta F. King

Author site for the memoir, He Plays a Harp

27 February

Odd Day, Even Year

noah scans-113

Noah in a hammock with a hibiscus.

Like a birthday, wedding anniversary or any important date, the anniversary of Noah’s death is one we note. It’s on my electronic calendar as a recurring date, The Day Noah Died, as if I really need reminding. It is on our wall photo calendar with a picture of him and the words, Noah’s Day on February 27. He died in 2006, an even year just after the end of the winter Olympics in Torino.

Eight years seems like a long time for him to be gone, I miss him just as much now as I did when his death was fresh and Mike and I were navigating the first days, weeks and months of being Noah-less. This anniversary is a little bit different and perhaps a bit less bitter. With the upcoming publication of my memoir, He Plays a Harp, I feel like I’ve accomplished what I set out to do five years ago: I’ve created a permanent reminder of him and our life. People sometimes ask me if writing his story has been cathartic or healing and until now, I said, “no.” I truly didn’t believe that writing about Noah could heal or fix my hurt. I’ve re-thought that premise and I’ve come to realize that writing about bad experiences can heal and help.  (It also helps to have found a wonderful publishing team in Principia Media). I’ve written and exposed very personal parts of my life, my emotions and my relationships with Noah, Mike and Tasha. I still feel profound grief from his death, but I don’t feel as fragile as I did eight years ago.

The writing has strengthened my relationship with Noah. I never believed that people could have a growing and ongoing relationship with someone who isn’t in this world, but as with using writing to heal, I believe that Noah and I are closer than we were when he was alive.

Today is Noah’s Day and I honor him for helping me write our memoir and giving me seventeen years+eight more years of inspiration.




6 Responses to “Odd Day, Even Year”

  1. Ann says:

    My brother died March 24, 1984, in a little under a month, it will be 30 years since he passed away. He will always be a part of me. I often wonder how life would be different and I still sometimes wonder, “I hope I made him proud”. I never thought that I still have a relationship with him but I like that perspective – it gives me a warm feeling.

    • robertafking says:

      Wow, 30 years that seems like such a long time and it is, but death for whatever reason, it’s finality I guess, makes it seem so fresh.

  2. Caroline Clark says:

    I can hear you and see you as if you were next to me when I read this post! Very touching!

  3. Lynne says:

    Beautiful it is, to read your heart . . . sacred . . . inspiring.
    I am happy you have been so faithful on this journey . . . and that you have given me/us a chance to know more of Noah and of you . . .

    • robertafking says:

      You’ve been my most devoted commenter on this sporadic blog. I’m grateful to you and I’m pleased to have helped you know Noah just a little bit more. Hope to see you at a book event this spring.